When I fail to deliver something a mother should, I felt down and the feeling of ‘i am a bad Mommy’ rushes over my head and heart. But since I have Fahry, I never let my brain put any space of the feeling of becoming a bad mommy.
Why?
If you have something you love so much, but you need someone else to take care of that thing on behalf of you, to whom will you give the custody for? To someone who could assure you that “I am a very good person, I can take care of you belongings until you want to get it back. I’ll make sure it is in good condition”, OR “I am a bad person. I don’t know how to look after things. I am careless. I am stupid, etc. etc.”. If it was me, I won’t let the second person hold anything belongs to me!
When Allah gives us a child, he wants us to treat and raise it ’on behalf of Him’. It is not ours. Our child is His, and He will take it back someday. He gives us a pure, white, holy little child for us to take care of, to educate, to train, to love.. until He call back to Him one day, and we can expect He wants a pure person, as He sent down a pure ones.
With the analogy in the second previous paragraph, how if Allah thinks that we are not capable to take care of the lil bundle of joy, so He calls the child back. How if Allah doesn’t allow us to take care of our own children, because we think that we are bad mommies? How if He thinks we are not good enough to raise another caliph up?
That’s excatly what I feel when I saw Fahry laying down hopelessly in the incubator. I told Allah that “I can do this. I can take care of Fahry. Please don’t take him away. Please choose me to raise Fahry up and love him forever. Please don’t bring my baby away… I can be a better person, even if I commited so many sins, but I could repent. I have a big heart, I will be a good Mommy for him. Please ya Allah let me go through this. Don’t take my baby away…”.
I am a good Mommy. I am able to take a good care of my children. Even if I always scream over them, but it is because I am a mother.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
siapa kata jadi mother is bad???
mari join breastfeeding support group meeting…..
.-= fid´s last blog ..Jagung =-.
Jgn baca tajuk je, Sila baca isinya. Hehe.
touching…setiap ibu mempunyai cara yang berlainan dalam membesarkan anak-anak…tetapi semua ibu mempunyai perasaaan yang sama terhadap anak-anaknya..insyaAllah
.-= ulfa´s last blog ..Khairin Baca Buku? =-.
That’s what makes us mothers kan?
yup..being a mother is not bad at all…we are lucky bcos we are the “chosen ones”…we should enjoy every second of it, becos its so wonderful ..being a mother..as I am now..selamat berkenalan supermommy..!!
I love being a mother to my two sons. Walaupun smpi demam melayan kehendak anak2 tapi tetap sabar.
Kerjaya yg amat mencabar minda dan fizikal.
.-= mazlia´s last blog ..I love Shopping =-.
sangat2 la mencabar..terutama yg baru nak belajar..
.-= amirah´s last blog ..SOLID FOOD =-.
semalam baca majalan Pa&Ma. I saw about your son’s article.. Tak baca lagi, sebab belum pun baca lagi, hati terasa sayu dan terusik..
.-= sayahappyslalu´s last blog ..Cheap Stroller, But Not For Sale… =-.
Sob sob isk isk isk! Mengalir air mata membaca doa Along masa tengok Fahry kat dalam incubator tu… Sungguh doa itu telah dimakbulkan! Sebab Allah tahu Along ni tergolong dalam golongan pertama dalam analogy yang Along bagi tu.
.-= Asiah Abd Jalil´s last blog ..Pak Hamzah =-.
kekdg sy pn sedih bila mek kecik tu nakal sgt, pastu nak kena jerit, pukul skit, nangis br nak dgr. slalu wonder, napa lah kena buat suma tu. letih tau.
tp hb slalu assure i hv been a very good one indeed.
.-= z@m´s last blog ..Kisah Duit Tersangkut =-.
suka entry ni.wat saya sedar,nape saya perlu jadi seorg ibu..
sometimes,i do feel,im a bad mom bila ada benda yang wat tak menjadi.. =(