Why Does She Fail to Breastfeed?

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i have a friend, who was really keen to breastfeed. but now she fails, a total fail. and she’s kinda ‘why you still can breastfeed your baby and i can’t?’ toward me. [not to say that i’m successful but at least my son is still on my breastmilk, exclusively]. – (this is excluding those who want to breastfeed but fail because of physical condition or whatever)

i’d like to list down her mistakes those driving to the failure:-

1. she thought breastfeeding is simple.
– might be like.. a fully automated thing, everymom can breastfeed as long as she has a baby.
– gosh from the beginning i know breastfeeding is never be simple. if it is, why the FM is belambak2 in the market? if it’s that simple, everybody should be able to breastfeed.

2. refuses to learn.
– because she thinks it’s simple, so she didn’t want to learn. even i was named ‘idiot’ when asking too much about breastfeeding.
– & i’m still learning until now.

3. minimal knowledge.

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– because of those 2 reasons, she has minimal knowledge without her awareness.
– she thought she was very smart.

4. and the BIGGEST MISTAKE is – top up with formula milk (FM) because – “MY BABY DRINKS MY MILK TOO MUCH & EVEN IF I HAVE PLENTY, IT STILL CAN’T SATISFY HER/HIM”.
– i told her that she shouldn’t do that, but she said the baby sucked her all the time, and she couldn’t provide much to make he baby contented.
– i take myself out of this ideology, please. even if my body doesn’t produce much milk, but i believe that it won’t let my son hungry, and it won’t let me rely on other sources than my own breastmilk.

5. still hoping that the breastmilk is there despite the FM.

– once you rely on FM, and the baby relies on FM, then your breasts get not enough stimulation, the milk would probably gone.

– because of the minimal knowledge, she doesn’t know about this, and she thinks she can stop the FM but how to stop if the FM now become the main food while the BM is start to decrease and decrease.

6. don’t know how to stimulate breastmilk
– when the milk is running out, she becomes ‘heran’ how could it be. she doesn’t know what makes her BM is there, it is the baby! when she gives her baby FM, the stimulation is insufficient thus reducing the supply.
– she’s hardly pumping her milk because of the busy working days. so the body gets no signal of milk demand. no demand, no supply.

7. and the core reason of everything is being ignorance.

i’m not a breastfeeding guru or whateva, but i would like to share my little experience and knowledge with all my friends. up to this point, i’d face so many, ups and downs in breastfeeding my son. sometimes i feel i’m smart enough and some other time a total idiot. but howeva, maternal instinct and common sense is very important in breastfeeding and caring of the baby. because our babies are unique.

i like to see moms breastfeeding their babies, as the babies will become our future. but i still respect moms who choose to formula-feed but a mom who wants to breastfeed but fail because of ignorance (& refuse to learn) is a tragedy.

yes parenting, babycaring, etc. are common senses but there are things we have to learn.

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13 responses to “Why Does She Fail to Breastfeed?”

  1. aida Avatar
    aida

    salam mama hafiy,

    bukan total fail.. tapi lack of knowledge.. biasalah first time moms, bukan ada org nak mengajar, but i applauded her jugak la sebab dpt bagi breastmilk for a shortest period of time.

  2. mama ryan Avatar
    mama ryan

    sgt setuju… BF nie mmg perlukan patient tahap gaban…n learning process of d beauty of BF nie will nvr end.. cewah!!!

    nak tau, smlm susu i almost kering.. seriously, 2kali pump baru dpt 2oz… ingatkan nak chat la dgn u, need support from another BF mother, tp u x online la pulak 😛

    anyway, around 12.30pm pumped again. & alhamdulillah dpt 3oz.. kira ok la dr xde langsung kan…

    itula.. kalau kita determine nak BF baby kita, insya allah Allah akan tlg kita…

    n pls, do support us mama2 yg tekad nak BF, jgn la ckp ‘kesian baby x cukup susu, bla3x’

    sorry ek mami hafiy.. tpjg lak comment i.. he he

  3. huaida Avatar
    huaida

    i find myself nodding from reading every sentence!

    My earliest mistake was thinking bf will be easy and when finding out it wasn’t, i was stressed out beyond belief and was so close in giving up but I look for encouragement by reading your blog and other similar blogs about bf-ing.

    Although I had to top up with FM (again, another mistake because people kept on saying my milk was not enough. luckily, he would only have it once every 2-3 days only) in his first month, Alhamdullilah, now my baby is almost 3 months and have not had FM since turning 1 month old.

    Alhamdullilah, he didn’t decide to like FM more than BM.

    Everytime, I come home from work, I always look forward to having my baby latching on to me instead of the pump! Hehe.

  4. ct Avatar
    ct

    most mother think bf can happen naturally. yes, if you’r lucky but majority mother will find it difficult.
    it helps alot if u know where to find the right sources, get to know the lactation consultant and becareful that not all docs know abt bf.
    bf is not that hard but it takes time for mother and baby as well to adjust.
    so, mari la kita bersama2 meneruskan kerja murni nih…

  5. mami hafiy Avatar
    mami hafiy

    aida,
    salam aida,

    why i said she’s total fail is sbb skg dah xbole nak BF dah & she doesn’t even know why.

    btw she can ask me/anyone who bfeed how to increase the BM but she doesn’t. and bcoz of being called ‘idiot’ i malas nk bg ‘free advice’ kat dia 🙂

    why i wrote is : to give message to mom-to-be or anyone who wants to BF, belajar & belajar. things not come easily, org kata bulat tak dtg bergolek pipih x datang mealyang.

    mama ryan,
    itulah sbrnya. we really need friends yg bole motivate kita kan.

    actualy when i promoting that “IM BREASTFEEDING” is bukan nak membangga but to frens, get motivation & advice from others if they found what i’m doing is wrong, etc.

    huaida,
    glad to know that baby AH is on fully BM diet! 😉

    here we can learn kan, others will always say -ve thing bout bfeeding. milk x enuff la, baby xkenyang la etc. but we as mother shud know what the best for our babies.

    ct,
    yeah true!!!
    dulu i pun igt can happen naturally. but when cakap2 dgn moms who bf then i found out that i was totally wrong.
    semua orang pun ignorance kan.. but nothing’s free in this world. kenala open heart utk ilmu2 baru.

  6. MommyAdam Avatar
    MommyAdam

    sayangnye..
    it’s actually very common la for this situation to happen, sadly…poor baby who could’ve gotten full BM..

  7. Fid Avatar
    Fid

    cik puan lina
    alahai akak pun baru je menaip/mengupdate itu blog saya ttg perasaan yg macam lina nih huhuhu…

    apa2 pun breastmilk is the best
    Alhamdulillah DIA izinkan kita…

    Breastfeed ni jadi mudah bagi orang yang memudahkannya..jadi complicated bila org buat jadi gitu
    (minta Allah permudahkan dan kita pun usaha bagi jadi mudah)

    happy breastfeeding….
    I’m happy i’m happy

  8. Dandelion Avatar
    Dandelion

    i hope Allah akan bantu n permudahkan I untuk breastfeed my child nnt..n Allah bagi I kesabaran n keazaman yang tinggi, insyaAllah. sebab i tau it is not easy! i have yet to realize my dream sbb baby pun xkuar lg. tp belum pape sometimes org dh jatuhkan semangat kiter. kdg2 certain org rasa pandai sgt tp dia xsedar ilmu xcukup pun. even though i xde experience yet but at least i berckp dgn org berkenaan by sharing ilmu yg i dpt. n i’m still learning until now. but still org tu xleh terima facts n deny all i said sbb katanya i apa tau baby pn xde lagi. sebab tu i rasa terkesan sgt bila baca point number 1, 2 and 3… 🙂

  9. ::ziLla:: Avatar
    ::ziLla::

    yup, agree…BF is an art of learning, even my mom pon pelik nape la org zaman skrg ni payah sgt nk bg susu badan.

  10. erynn sr. Avatar
    erynn sr.

    pendapat & perasaan saya similar dgn saudari2 di atas.. haha.. bes kan BF? boleh flash boobs kat seisi rumah ;p~

    i have a fren yg dah beli breast pump awal2 lagi before bersalin. RM500++.. turn out dia BF bb dia 4 bulan aje. reason: tak cukup bermotivasi utk pam, maka lama2 susu abih gitu je.. skrg, husband dia bising2 sbb dah beli pam,tp kene blanja susu tepung sebulan RM120..

    jimat byk kite kan mommies? lepas ni boleh kita practice cloth diapers pulak, switch from pampers.. boleh selamatkan alam dan jimatkan duit jugak 🙂

  11. mami hafiy Avatar
    mami hafiy

    mommyadam,
    yalah.. and it’s not easy to educate mom with BS (not british standard but budusss sumbunggg). i am OK if anybody chooses FM & dont want to BF but kalo nak BF tapi xmo belajar ni memang la.. then tolong jgn sedih kalo xpdt BF sebab xmo belajar…

    kak fid,
    hahaha. nampaknya mummy2 Hafiy ni mmg ada instinct yg sama 😀

    tuhla. alhamdulillah Dia bukakan jalan tuk kita, walaupun penuh onak duri tp masih bertahan hingga kini. cewah.

    i’m happy too!

    ina,
    insya-Allah kalo kngkawan yg ‘offline’ tak membantu, ramai nih kawan ‘online’ yang bole memotivasikan 😉
    jgn put ur ladder against a wrong wall. cari org yg in the same shoes OK!

    zilla,
    maybe sbb kita dah lahir2 je ada susu tin & kita sdr pun mak kita bg susu tin. hehe. tp skg rasanya breastfeeding ni dh meluas kan?

    erynn sr.,
    sesungguhnya boobsku sudah tidak asing lagi. hahahah.

    wah mengapakah tiada motivasi… sedihnya itu.. sian bbnya…

    cloth diaper? haha. itu kene tunggu maid datang sbb saya malas membasuh. hahahahah.

  12. shsuya Avatar
    shsuya

    Lina,

    Kudos to you ! I felt the exact same way you do when I successfully total breastfeed my son. I heran kenapa org2 lain tak nak try hader and make all kind of exzcuses. Tapi cam mana pun yang lebih penting now that we have the experience we must be willing to share and motivate kaum kaum hawa lain yg sedang preg and yg tengah fikir nak bfeed atau tidak. Atau yg ada azam nak bfeed tapi idealistic. Kita mesti bantu more women out there realise that bfeed is the BEST way to go. Tiada tandingannya ! *teringat my first email to you.cam mana kita berkenalan dulu hehe semoga persahabatan ini berpanjangan*

  13. shiha Avatar
    shiha

    Salam..

    Dear Lina

    I think it is never to late to say CONGRATS! on your decision to BF and the motivation to continue, insyaAllah.

    I have to say that I was very lucky to have a very positive environment around me, when I started to breastfeed my first child. Indeed, knowledge is the keyword. Ignorance is futile.

    Happy breastfeeding!

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