Raising Color Blinded Children

admin Avatar

I was raised in a kampung, where 99.9% of the population are Malays. There was only one Chinese family selling grocery in the kampung known as ‘Cina Awang’. We call him Awang. I think he’s the only Chinese guy in the kampung lah.

My aunty married to a Chinese man. He remains his surname, Chan in his Islam name. Howeever, my uncle doesn’t look like a Chinese at all, except his small eyes and fair skin. But I seldom met him because they stays far from my kampung.

In my kampung, we are a bit sensitive about color. I guess because we never exposed to any other color than Malay’s skin. Even my teacher ever said “What’s good about other races? They are not good at all”.

It doesn’t mean that we are a group of racists, no. But the fact that we never met other races, led our mindset halt a bit and easily become bias.

And you’ll find very small numbers of Chinese, Indian or other races walking in our capital town.

The first time I left my kampung, to be exact, my beautiful state for my tertiary education in UTP, Perak, I was stunned by lots of Indians at Medan Kidd. I still remember how I was so scare to go to Ipoh, even with my friends, because of those Indians, and dogs. I never talked to any Indian, except my mother’s boss who is a very good doctor. I was so afraid and felt so alien among those new colors.

And I met lots of Chinese in Ipoh. Not only that, in UTP I even met Ibanese, Kadazan, even foreigner like Africans, Turkmens, and others.

Believe me I never talked to them because I felt so different.

Until we were parted into smaller groups,a dn in my class we had MCI – Malay Chinese Indian. I started to mingle around. But I was still hesitate, remember that we have label on each other, Malay – lazy, Chinese – smart but so stingy, Indian – stubborn —> just from what I was exposed to. The bad first impression was really bad. I had no confident to talk to my Chinese and Indian friends.

But I was very wrong, when I started to befriend with my classmates, they are not as what I thought. They were just like me, it just the label in my mind made we different. From that point, I made many new friends, from different races. And it was so obvious when I was in Miri. Everybody was just the same. I never feel like an alien anymore.

And I was so surprise when I could get along with those guys like Chen, Loh, Weng Hong, Penny, Swee Ling, David, Kat, Ann, Ho, Anand, Kumar, Bala.. (just to name a few). We even share secrets like my childhood friends did. And I learned a lot from them. Of course la they won’t come and offer, we la have to be proactive.

That’s my story.

For my children, I want them to be ‘color blind’ and can get along with others, despite their races. It is important to me to get rid of the mindset that ‘Chinese group, Malay group, Indian group…’ in my children, as I want them to be highly competitive and dare to face any challenge and stop the so called ‘typical Malay’ attitude that always like to give excuse than producing result.

Why it is important to have color blinded children?

  1. Bias toward other races sometimes hindering us from taking any positive points from that race. Just like if you’re emotionally (not technically) has a bad feeling towards Fahrin Ahmad, everything about Fahrin Ahmad is bad in your eyes. Even when he goes to masjid you’ll say “Alah, nak tunjuk baik ler tu”. Same goes to this case. Emotionally bias always lead us to the dark side of another persons.
  2. They’ll forever be like a frog under the glass. They can see everything but they never feel. Just like, the can see that other races are building their wealth, but they can’t get the feeling of building their own wealth by learning from others.
  3. They won’t have their mindset change, and just keep circling around their wheel. Experience, is not about how long you live, but how far you walk and how much you see. But if you just walk at the same place for the whole life, your so called experience is expected la kan.
  4. It is encouraged by Islam to get to know other races and nation, as stated in al-Quran that Allah creates human in different nations and races, so that we could get to know each other. So, befriend with other races and nation is also to comply with the Islamic recommendation.
  5. Others might have resources that we don’t have. Just like Abiy’s friend (a Chinese guy) who has at least 10 properties at premium locations in KL. Who’s the Malay friend of his has such that he could learn from (if he wants tol lah)? Azizi Ali? Obviously not for free. And Mr. Azizi is not his friend summore.. 😀
  6. To live the spirit of 1Malaysia 🙂

I feel so lucky used to be in Miri. There we met people from various background. Not only MCI but also Dayak, Iban, Penan, Kadazan, Melanau, ….. so many groups of Sarawakian those I couldn’t recall 😀 And the lucky number 2 is that we are staying in KL and working with a multinational company.

Our children has chances to meet people from all over the world, without have to go abroad. We wished to send them to kindergarten where expatriates send their kids. Unfortunately such nurseries are so expensive, and even one we have here couldn’t cope with our schedule.

Now I feel so lucky and happy. I made some Chinese and Indian (and others too, just to mention a few) friends from this blog. And I keep in touch with my other friends too.

My non-Malay readers, do you have anything to say? 😉

admin Avatar

18 responses to “Raising Color Blinded Children”

  1. Jade Avatar

    mommy lyna,

    i mmg dr dulu practice colour blind..
    tak suka nk beza2 antara2 kaum ni
    sebab utamanya my mother adalah 1/8 chinese (ada ke cm tuh??)
    n my MIL adalah pure chinese..
    so for me, suma adalah manusia biasa
    no label2 at all..

    kalau dh jenis pemalas, tak pyh nk tunggu dia tu bangsa melayu.. bangsa yang lain pun ade jugak..
    .-= Jade´s last blog ..lawak bedebah =-.

    1. Mommy Lyna Avatar
      Mommy Lyna

      kalau dh jenis pemalas, tak pyh nk tunggu dia tu bangsa melayu.. bangsa yang lain pun ade jugak.. –? true true. tp kenapa ye orang selalu jugak kaitkan Melayu dgn malas… isk3x

      sadis betul!

  2. salzahari Avatar
    salzahari

    x ajar apa2 lagi psl kaum pd dia..tp dia tahu kalau nmpk gelap tu (Indian) dia panggil hitam. adoihlaa! nasib tak dengar….hahhaha.

    1. Mommy Lyna Avatar
      Mommy Lyna

      ehehhe. agak2 kalo orang tu dengar, cemana la agaknya ya kihkihkih

  3. Hanz Avatar

    Good post!

    Hemm…my mom used to ‘mengomel’ last time during my singlehood coz I mingled lots with Chinese & Indians masa aktif berpersatuan & have only few Malay close friends. Guess she’s a bit bias having being raised in ‘kampung’. Boy, I’m glad being raised & schooled in Multi-Racial Community…
    .-= Hanz´s last blog ..For your eyes only =-.

    1. Mommy Lyna Avatar
      Mommy Lyna

      ahah.

      now your mom shud aware the goodness of mingling around dulu kan hehehe

  4. zuhaini Avatar

    *saya nak komen jugak!

    ingatkan color blind tu penyakit seungguh!

    oh, maknanya x racial la kan…?

    saya sendiri x racist sangat.. semua sama je.. 🙂
    .-= zuhaini´s last blog ..Mona Lisa is HERE!!!!! =-.

    1. Mommy Lyna Avatar
      Mommy Lyna

      hehe

      betul betul betul

      erk, tak racist sangat? sikit2 racist ke? huhu.

  5. eliss Avatar

    laa ingat saper la sakit tadi…
    eliss pun bila dah masuk ‘U’ baru kwan dengan orang dari kaler lain..sebab kat kg yang ada cuma cikgu jer laa bangsa lain..huhuhu tapi tadak plak racist ker haper..ok jer..
    my 1st Indian frenz- Saraswathy..miss her a lot 🙂
    .-= eliss´s last blog ..Free Review @ MomBloggerPlanet =-.

    1. Mommy Lyna Avatar
      Mommy Lyna

      mana Saraswathy pegi? ce try google mana tahu dia ada tulis blog gak ke hehehe.

  6. farah Avatar

    hahaha saya pon ingat ade yang rabun warna tadi…. sebab kecik2 mak anta sekolah omputih..jadi memang campur2 la gak dengan berbagai bangsa…
    .-= farah´s last blog ..Uniknya Open house famili Mat Aros =-.

    1. Mommy Lyna Avatar
      Mommy Lyna

      seronoknya masuk skul orang putih, mesti terer cakap manggeris kan

  7. qay Avatar

    me too…sum of my stdnts here i found out xnk nk join with other race..buat hal sndri2…tkmo kgsi ilmu, things..i plik btul…knapa nk kdekut sgt ilmu tuh n tk nk tolong menolong…

    i dr kcik blajar sekolah agma smpi msuk mtriks br ada kaum bumi lain..n msuk ukm bru bjumpa dgn other race..but im not so shocked n can mix around very well n in fact hv a few good frens..mgkin sb ms kinder n preschool dah bcmpur with other UK kids yg ada jepun, arab, pakistan, britush etc kot..so i think evrybody is the same…
    .-= qay´s last blog ..Contst Love teddy Bear =-.

    1. Mommy Lyna Avatar
      Mommy Lyna

      expose masa kecik tu penting, tak gitu qay?

  8. aduh lurun Avatar
    aduh lurun

    Saya adalah berkahwin dengan indian :p. Family suami saya ada yang kawen chinese, australian n sri lanka.
    bahasa nya lain. budaya nya lain. tradisi nya lain. rupenya lain. food nya lain. expectation nye lain. didikan anak2 nye lain.
    tapi, sama-sama hamba Allah. sama-sama sayang menyayang, sama-sama manusia.
    So be open and enjoy the differences. Anggap je race tu mcm salah satu sifat, eg: rambut lurus n kerinting. Being able to talk and joke about the differences sebenarnye buat kite lebih open n tak skeptical sesame sendiri. Appreciate bende2 yang tak same tu and hidup pon jadi lebih enjoy

    ** raya tahun ni style indian. no kuah kacang, lemang, ketupat, etc. seronok juge.

    1. Mommy Lyna Avatar
      Mommy Lyna

      awak keluarga sungguh majmuk! saspek2! mesti dalam gamba famili muka bermacam2.

      keluarga saya pun mix dengan Javanese. kehkehkeh.

      ***raya Indian makan laddu kah?

  9. nadiea Avatar

    heheeh…igtkan mommy lyna nak citer psl rabun warna! rupanya pasal rabun warna kulit gitu… kekekeke

    yer…mmg perlu kita color blind dlm kes ini… sy dr kecik dah bersekolah campur… pernahlaa jgk zaman2 sklh rendah gaduh2 ala kaum gitu.. dgn bdk2 india.. masing2 nak mempertahankan Tuhan masing2.. ahaha.. tp time tu zaman kecik2… takde pape laa… bila dah skolah men, msk skolah agama.. takdelaa kaum lain.. sume melayu+kaum lain sabah tp islam.. then form4 msk SBP. of course takde lagi bangsa lain except kaum bumi.. org sabah srwk la… then U, msk UIA! yes! ramailaa foreigner… even chinese and indian pun ade.. sy no prob dgn mereka.. even skrg keje ngan comp chinese… sy takde msalah…

    stakat nie anak2 sy takde lagilaa bercampur ngan other races.. tp diaorg bule jerr get along. ms pose aritu, we all ade dpt invitation buka pose at legend hotel, then kene dgr presentation psl hotel2 diaorg.. we all kene duduk 1table dgn 1chinese family yg ade sorg anak pompuan.. that girl sukerr sgt main dgn my little boy.. and my little boy pun elok jerr main dgn that girl… cuma my daugther jerr taknak main sgt.. bukan pun sbb races.. tp mmg dia susah sket nak main dgn org2 dia tak kenal… but for me, diaorg bukan punlaa kenal dia tu cina ker… india ker… sume sama jer kawan2 kan??
    .-= nadiea´s last blog ..~@~ Selamat Hari Raya ~@~ =-.

  10. mama emma® Avatar

    masa sekolah men dulu, akak rasa lg rapat dgn geng cina.. haha.. xtau ngape.. tp x pandai jugak ckp cina.. kekeke
    .-= mama emma®´s last blog ..– SNEAK PREVIEW SYAWAL 1430- =-.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge