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It’s Better To Have Love and Lose It Than Have To Live With A Psycho For The Rest of My Life

by Mommy Lyna on June 26, 2009 · 35 comments

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When I met Abiy and decided to go steady with him, it wasn’t I love him because I love him (even if I keep on telling him that :P). I was very particular in choosing my life partner, even if I have a lot of male friends (but none of them sudi jadi my boyfriend LOL). Before I said ‘yes’ to Abiy, the first thing I looked at him is his deen (lifestyle). According to An-Nawawi “I love you because the deen (agama) you posses, and if it is gone from you, so my love for you is gone”. It was not easy to judge this, because surface can lies. Like an iceberg, the tip is very small but it has a large block beneath.

To get this out from him, because we didn’t date, hmmm… so from our limited communication through YM or emails, usually we created interesting topic to talk, discuss and argue. DEFINITELY NOT conversation such “Do you love me? I love you..”. Cos anybody can says that, even an insane. So we talked about out of the box topics like, current issues, money, health, technology, religous and so on, and I was really evaluating. And Abiy did it great! He even shared things I never knew, and things I couldn’t throw it back to him. He had all the points

Choosing a husband is not like choosing ikan at pasar or choosing baju. He must be the best person and really can complete my life.

I was really need a life partner that not only could be my bedmate, but also my bestfriend, my teacher, my shelter, my leader and be only mine So that time I didn’t mind if he was not the one, but I always pray “.. if he’s the one please show us the way to settle everything down, and if he’s not, please take him away from me and give me a better one. ameen”. To me it is everything about him, who was he, what was he. I remember some of my guy friends, told me that they choose pretty ladies, regardless their inside or attitude. Cos to them, attitude can be changed, but they cannot change the look. Apa-apa je lah hehe. Oh then I was looking for somebody with a good looking face jugak lah. Hahaha.

After doing what I should, analysing, thinking, etc. then I knew Abiy was the one. So I accepted his proposal and we became husband and wife on 24 August 2006. It took about almost a year but it’s worth

Today, Abiy is my everything. He’s my source of information, motivation, my teacher, my driver… and of course the love of my life. If I could have only one person in this world, of course I choose him.

It is important to choose. Especially in choosing life partner. As what Abdullah Nashih Ulwan wrote in Tarbiyatul Aulad Fil Islam, one of the criteria in making a great family with great children is choosing their parents. In Islam we’re give 4 criteria to be considered 1- deen (agama) 2- wealth 3- keturunan 4- beauty.

Even if we’re at the later stage of our age, or a widow, we still deserve to choose Except you’re OK living with somebody who can make you saiko sepanjang hidup.