Happy Relationship Do's And Dont's

By | May 29, 2009

Everybody dreams about a happy relationship, especially for marriage couples, cos we want to be with our soulmate forever and ever. But there’s still lots of thing we have to make the ends meet to complete the loop. Out there, still lots of couple facing silent breakdown in their marriage, and make it a torment, which should not happen to every married couple. As a saying goes ‘My House My Paradise’ (rumahku syurgaku) so the first thing we need is a happy marriage.

Alhamdulillah, we are going to celebrate our 3rd anniversary in 3 months time. And it is a very exciting journey, ups and downs and everything we face together. Blessed with 2 cute kids summore, it add some adventurous element. LOL.

Let’s share the secrets of a happy marriage. Out there, it might be a person still looking for the ‘tips of a happy marriage/relationship’ or a bride-to-be is looking for how to be the best wife, etc. To make it easy for you, I’ll jot down some points and you can help by typing ‘DO’ for any YES, and ‘DON’T’ for any NO, and if you’re not sure of not applicable just put a dash ‘-‘. I’ll use ‘I’ for the wife side and ‘him’ for the husband side, OK? Just follow the running number. Example:

1. Do

2. Don’t

3. Do

4. –

5. Do

…OK? I’ll compile the result and put the percentage of Do’s and Dont’s in each line this evening or night.

The lucky commentator will get a token of appreciation from us!

So here we go… Ready?  *edited* OK after the survey done and result compiled (including one from Kak Siti Sifir) from te majority answers.

1. Sincerely accept him as my husband right from the start. = DO

2. Put him as priority, even before the kids. Because he stands at the highest rank in ‘the people I shall obey to’. = DO

3. Encourage him to respect and take care of his mother, even if the MIL is very the cerewet. = D0

4. Avoid communication breakdown, always talk and discuss about everything. And if I can’t, just send an SMS, email or letter. = DO

5. Pray for him everytime I perform solat so that he can get the happiness and succeed in everything he ventures. = DO

6. Ask for his attention because I am his wife. He should prioritize me more than everything. = 50-50. Huha.

7. His mother has no right on him after he has his own family. His mother should stay away from his life and let him be with me and the kids. = DON’T

8. Protect his dignity and don’t tell others about his bad and his weakness. Unless if he’s doing something not right. = DO

9. Always cook his favourite food and even if I don’t like it, I will still smiling and eat together. = DO

10. Cool him down if he is under stress of anger by saying nice words, not membebel. = DO

11. Say sorry even if we’re not doing anything wrong to avoid argument.  = DO

12. Ask for ‘kesamarataan’ in husband and wife. I deserve to live as what I want to. = DON’T

13. House chores is not my job, it’s him. So he has to do his job or get a maid. = DON’T

14. He has no right to check my handphone because it is my privacy. = DON’T

15. I have my own life and I don’t need to ask his permission if I want to do anything. = DON’T

16. He has to choose between his mother family or me. If he loves me, then he should choose me. = DON’T

17. I would do all the chores and manage the kids, even if I am working and exhausted after a long day. = 50-50. 😀

18. Be transparent and do not keep secret to each other. = DO

19. I have to respect his privacy because a man always needs space for himself. = DO

20. Sexual intercourse is not important, as long as we show love toward each other. = DON’T

21. Focusing on how to be a good wife and mother rather than asking/hoping him to be a good husband and father. = DO

22. Being a wife needs lots of patience because not all men can understand women. = DO

23. Support him in everything, his ups and downs. = DO

24. I should ask him for nice presents for my birthday, if only he loves me. = DON’T

25. Love him unconditionally. = DO

26. Put some tolerance in everything because not all marriage last. = DO

27. Say I love you everyday. = DO

28. Always think about how to make him happy, even if he doesn’t always make me happy. = DO

29. He should give me some money so that I can enjoy myself. = DO

30. Ask someone else to cook (bibik or chef kedai) so that we can spend time alone together. = DON’T

Wah, many oredy. I think I should stop 😛

So, what say you? Which one should we do and which are dont’s? After jot your ‘do’, dont’ and ‘-‘. you may add some points if you love to! . Oh yes, you don’t have to pick all the points, if you don’t have much time  *EDITED* Thanks for all the responders. I’ll announce the lucky commentator later2 😀 So now can you list you do’s and don’ts in your marriage? I pray for your happiness, until no forever 🙂

But after all, marriage is not only a tolerancy, but also a synergy. We should get more from it (bukan more children je..). More money, more love, more happiness, more success, more jutaria! And it doesn’t come easily. Also needs more patience and sacrifice. As what my English teacher said, “True love never runs smooth”. But as long as we run together, the un-smoothness won’t hurt I LOVE YOU ABIY!

*this entry is written for Yoyooh challenge minggu ke-4

31 thoughts on “Happy Relationship Do's And Dont's

  1. anasfadilah

    the DO’s

    1,3,4,5,8,10,18,19,23,25,26,27,28,29

    the DONT’s

    7,12,14,15,16,17,20,21,24,30

    the DONNOLA’s ( – ) (because i think i have my own opinion la kak lyna..heheheh)

    2,6,9,11,13

    p/s::nampak Ziyyad kat featured baby…heheh..thanks ye 🙂

    Reply
    1. Mommy Lyna Post author

      hehe. awat tak share different opinion tu deknon oii. hehe.

      p/s : ada oarng cakap Ziyyad hensem woooo!

      Reply
  2. Asiah Abd Jalil

    Husband and wife should complement each other. Nobody is perfect, sebab tu saling tampung-menampung dan saling memberi sokongan.

    Saya akui, saya bukanlah isteri solehah, mithali atau yang terbaik. Suami juga sedar, dia bukanlah suami paling baik dalam dunia. Masing-masing ada kelemahan. Sometimes ada konflik juga. Apa yang penting, tolak ansur dan kompromi, redha meredhai dan saling mendoakan. Kita nak bahagia di dunia, bahagia juga di akhirat. Rasanya rumah tangga tanpa ups and downs pun tak seronok juga, boring, dull, takde rencah kehidupan.

    Reply
    1. Mommy Lyna Post author

      ya betul tu. takde rumahtangga yg takde masalah. yg penting cemana sama2 hadapi & tangani nye kan?

      Reply
  3. aidie

    good…sekali sekala kena buat self reflection gak

    the Do’s

    1,2,3,4,5,6,8,9,10,17,19,21,22,23,26,27,28

    the Don’t’s

    7,13,15.20,24,30

    the -s

    11,12,14,16,18,25,29

    Reply
    1. Mommy Lyna Post author

      self reflection ya? ahaks. ye jugak tu. 😀

      Reply
  4. farah

    1-Do
    2-Do
    3.Do
    4.Do
    5.Do
    6.Do
    7.Don’t
    8.Do
    9.Do
    10.Do
    11.Don,t-my husband does’nt like me to say sorry tanpa sebab.
    12.- i don’t understand this part.please elaborate more 😀
    13.- share2 la the house chores
    14.Don’t
    15.Don’t
    16.Don’t
    17.Don’t
    18.Do
    19.Do
    20.Don’t
    21.Do
    22.Do
    23.Do
    24.Don’t
    25.Do
    26.Don’t
    27.Do
    28.Do-he always make me happy so why should’nt i?
    29.Do-i like this one hahaha
    30.Don’t

    semangat nak menjawab sampai i open notepad to answer all this question and then paste it here…

    Reply
      1. Mommy Lyna Post author

        ahaks. semangat macam ni yg kita mau!

        no 12 tu like if husband cakap “u tak bole buat ni sbb u wife i” then kita cakap “apehal kalu i wife u pon? i ada ‘hak’ nak buat apa i suka!” – something liek that la.

        oh silap jawab ok2 😀

        Reply
        1. farah

          ooo like that cannot laaa…wife takleh ckp cenggitu kan..nnt tak cium bau syurga lakkss

          Reply
  5. mum2h

    1-5 do
    6-7 don’t
    8-11 do
    12-16 don’t
    17 do
    18 don’t
    19 do
    20 do’t
    21 -23 do
    24 don’t
    25-29 do
    30 don’t

    Bagus la buat quiz ni..umpama self check ntuk diri sendiri

    Reply
    1. Mommy Lyna Post author

      aha. not to say quiz la.. survey la kekonon. 😀

      Reply
  6. zuhaini

    erm.. banyaknya soalan… 🙂

    Do
    DO
    Do
    Do
    DO
    Do
    Don’t
    Don’t
    Do
    DO
    DO

    Do
    Don’t
    Don’t
    Don’t
    Don’t
    Don’t
    Do
    Do
    Do
    Do

    Do
    Do
    Do
    Don’t
    Do
    DO
    DO
    DO
    Dont
    Do

    wah.. penatnya… 🙂

    (tp bagus sebab ia ala-ala satu motivation for me.. banyak yg saya belajar… aduhai kesian Mr Hubby…) 🙁

    Promise to do better! 🙂

    Reply
    1. Mommy Lyna Post author

      hahaha
      macam marathon plak

      ..hmm saya pun rasa kesian kat huby saya ish3x

      Reply
  7. Azza

    This is my answers..:)

    1. Do
    2. Do
    3. Do
    4. Do
    5. Do
    6. Do
    7. DO
    8. DO
    9. DO
    10. DO
    11. DON’T
    12. DO
    13. DON’T
    14. DON’T
    15. DON’T
    16. DON’T
    17. DO
    18. DO
    19. DO
    20. DON’T
    21. DO
    22. DO
    23. DO
    24. DO..:p
    25. DO
    26. DO
    27. DO
    28. DO
    29. DO
    30. DON’T

    Reply
  8. ayuarjuna

    Mommy Lyna…sorry ya…mesti my comments panjang yang amat..sebab I copy paste n tambah komen..(hehe..over acting pakai space)

    1. Sincerely accept him as my husband right from the start.
    Do..sebab tu sebelum kahwin decide bebetul..buat sembahyang hahat/ishtiharah mintak petunjuk..kahwin juga adalah satu perjudian hidup..so kena terima seadanya dan sentiasa ada sikap “give n take”..

    2. Put him as priority, even before the kids. Because he stands at the highest rank in ‘the people I shall obey to’.
    Do..sebab dalam Islam meletakkan isteri itu syurga dibawah tapak kaki suami…dalam soak anak-anak pasangan seharusnya banyak berbincang dan bertolak ansur..

    3. Encourage him to respect and take care of his mother, even if the MIL is very the cerewet.
    Do- sebab walaupun dah kahwin suami masih patut patuh pada suami..kalau dah nasib badan MIL yang cerewet demi kasih pada suami kita cuba sedaya upaya menjadikan sebagai menantu yang terbaik..(bodek2 sikit mak mertua tu)

    4. Avoid communication breakdown, always talk and discuss about everything. And if I can’t, just send an SMS, email or letter.
    Do- kunci kebahagiaan salah satunya komunikasi…marah sekali manapun sampai tak mahu bercakap hantar sms ataupun tulis surat guna pen merah selit kat walllet die…hahaha

    5. Pray for him everytime I perform solat so that he can get the happiness and succeed in everything he ventures.
    Do- itu mesti sentiasa mntak perlindungan dan pertolangan agar hubby dimudahkan segala urusan dan dipeliharakan dari perkara-perkara yang tidak baik..

    6. Ask for his attention because I am his wife. He should prioritize me more than everything.
    Don’t- sebenarnya bergantung kepada personaliti seseorang lelaki..ada setengah lelaki tak kisah/ok/suka sangat perempuan yang cuba manja dan sentiasa nak perhatian…tapi ada setengah lelaki lebih gemar seseorang perempuan itu berdikari dan lebih banyak memahami…so bertindak mengikut keadaan personaliti si suami..as my hubby selama I kenal die…die tak suke I melebih-lebih attention tak tentu pasal..kadang2 jer boleh…hahah

    7. His mother has no right on him after he has his own family. His mother should stay away from his life and let him be with me and the kids.
    Don’t- totally depends on his mother…kita tak boleh masuk campur…cam mak mertua I dia tak pernah masuk campur urusan family…but my mum yes…so me n hubby have to accept it..

    8. Protect his dignity and don’t tell others about his bad and his weakness. Unless if he’s doing something not right.
    Do – kisah suami adalah terlalu peribadi biar menjadi cerita antara suami-isteri…even die tak betul tak perlu dijaja kalau hendak dikongsi mungkin dengan sahabat/sedara yang paling dipercayai..

    9. Always cook his favourite food and even if I don’t like it, I will still smiling and eat together.
    Do- what to do..hahah…kalau dah hari kari-kari mahu muak jugakan..so masak jugakla lauk lain..jaga hati suami jaga juga tapi kena juga variasi masakan tu…boring lak hidup anak2..hehe

    10. Cool him down if he is under stress of anger by saying nice words, not membebel.
    Do- a cup of coffee ..jadilah pendengar yang setia segala cerita stress or buat urutan cakaran harimau (cakar elok2 ya..)…as long dia reduce stress happy…okla..

    11. Say sorry even if we’re not doing anything wrong to avoid argument.
    Do- saya selalu jer minta maaf dulu walaupun kadang2 salahnya dari hubby…lepas tu hubby akan minta maaf balik…so kitaorangnya keje bermaafan seolah hari raya setipa bulan..

    12. Ask for ‘kesamarataan’ in husband and wife. I deserve to live as what I want to.
    Don’t- tak baik la…terima lah die seadanya..susah sama2..senang sama2

    13. House chores is not my job, it’s him. So he has to do his job or get a maid.
    Yang ni paling susah nak jawab…Don’t- tak tahulah pendapat orang lain…saya anak 4 orang tak ada maid..dan kami bekerja full-time..kitaorg banyak reasons kenapa tak nak maid…bukan sebab kewangan…tapikena give n takelah…kena banyak berbincang…so my hubby senang jer…cthnya:kalau awak tak buat..saya pun letih biar jerlah kain tu tak lipat…nanti saya beli bakul besar…(kalau dia accept tu okla)

    14. He has no right to check my handphone because it is my privacy.
    Don’t- suka hatilah dia nak check ke apa…tapi kalau seorang suami tu ada percaya kat isteri…dia tak ada masa lah nak check…

    15. I have my own life and I don’t need to ask his permission if I want to do anything.
    Don’t- sebagai isteri yang solehah (cehceh)..apa nak buat..nak gi mana kena dapat dari izin dari suami…

    16. He has to choose between his mother family or me. If he loves me, then he should choose me.
    Do- yelah kalau if he love me..kalau die dah hate me…huahua lantak pi dia nak choose yang mana..tapi dah soal camne still kena banyak berbincang dan toleransi..

    17. I would do all the chores and manage the kids, even if I am working and exhausted after a long day.
    Do-..what to do…janji u happy apa u buat…tak happy?..have to talk with your hubby

    18. Be transparent and do not keep secret to each other.
    Do- tiada rahsia antara kita…(fulamak..cam tajuk novel jer)

    19. I have to respect his privacy because a man always needs space for himself.
    Do- respect him not as a hubby, father but also a man..sometimes they need space…(berapa besar itu?…tepuk dada tanya selera)

    20. Sexual intercourse is not important, as long as we show love toward each other.
    Do…sex ?…wahh…kasih sayang bukan sahaja diTONJOLkan dalam hubungan intim…ianya juga boleh dilihat..dari keprihatinan, kucupan, lambaian..etc…(banyak oo)

    21. Focusing on how to be a good wife and mother rather than asking/hoping him to be a good husband and father.
    Do- biar kita jadi isteri idan ibu yang terbaik…suami biasanya akan dimotivasikan sendiri apabila die telah memperolehi yang terbaik..

    22. Being a wife needs lots of patience because not all men can understand women.
    Do- sabar..sabar…sabar..separuh daripada iman

    23. Support him in everything, his ups and downs.
    Do- sokonglah suami anda walaupun dia parti yang berlainan anda…haha…dah memang kejayaan seorang lelaki tulang belakangnya adalah seorang perempuan…??

    24. I should ask him for nice presents for my birthday, if only he loves me.
    Don’t- melainkan hubby nak tanya apa…biarlah dia nak bagi apa janji ikhlas dan sebagai tanda kasih pada kita..

    25. Love him unconditionally.
    Do…Do..Do…I do (that should u do)

    26. Put some tolerance in everything because not all marriage last.
    Do-…hmmm..marriage for me “first until to the end” (sampai mati kalau boleh)

    27. Say I love you everyday.
    Do- cakaplah sampai jemu..jemu..n lama dia jadi ketagih..ketagih..I love u dedet…

    28. Always think about how to make him happy, even if he doesn’t always make me happy.
    Do-…bahagiakanlah suami-suami…agar syurga menanti kita satu hari nanti..

    29. He should give me some money so that I can enjoy myself.
    Do- suami yang baik/prihatin biasanya akan memberi sedikit/banyak (ikut kemampuan) pada isteri berbelanja bagi dirinya sendiri..terpulang..

    30. Ask someone else to cook (bibik or chef kedai) so that we can spend time alone together.
    Dont’t- sebab my hubby suka I masak..walaupun telur goreng dan kicap semata-mata plus budu (dah hubby pure kelate)..kena ikat perut suami ni dengan masakan style kita…tapi lainlah kalau suami yang ajak makan luar sbb nak berdua-duaan bercinta kita…aiseh

    kebas dah tangan…I love my hubby too mummy Lyna…haha

    Reply
    1. Mommy Lyna Post author

      yeah! sungguh padat sekali! gus2!

      nanti gath kebaskan tangan buat food sedap2 plak 😀

      love huby masing2!

      Reply
  9. c'Sue

    alom, sy rajin menjawab soalan hari ni 🙂

    jawapan yg lahir dari lubuk hati ku..
    Do = 1,2,3,4,5,8,9,10,11,12,17,18,19,21,22,23,25,26,27,28,30
    Don’t = 6,7,13,14,15,16,20,24,29

    Reply
    1. Mommy Lyna Post author

      wah jauh tu dari lubuk hati bennas 😀

      sengkiu2! 😉

      Reply
  10. sya

    1. Do – terima seadanya baik buruk dia..
    2. Do – ‘syurga di bawah telapak kaki suami’
    3. Do – ‘syurga suami di bawah telapak kaki ibunya’
    4. Do – tapi seeloknya face to face is better
    5. Do – dah tentu setiap kali selepas solat, dan sebelum dia keluar rumah juga
    6. Don’t – penting2 juga, tapi ikut masa dan keadaan lah..
    7. Don’t – ada hak juga, tapi kena berpatutan
    8. Do – dah tentu, isteri kan pakaian suami?
    9. Do – apa salahnya untuk kebaikan rumah tangga
    10. Do – isteri kan sebagai penenang suami
    11. Don’t – kena berterus terang, tapi dengan cara berhemah, kalau dia salah, dia tetap salah
    12. Do – kata berkongsi hidup, kan?
    13. Don’t – buat sama2
    14. Don’t – dia ada hak atas apa sahaja harta saya
    15. Don’t – my own life? Baik tak yah kawin..
    16. Don’t – kita yang kena terima family dia..
    17. Don’t – sama macam di atas, buat sama2. Kalau dah penat, minta tolong dia.
    18. Do – wajib!!!
    19. Don’t – dah namanya berkongsi hidup.. nak privacy pun, kena dengan isteri juga
    20. Don’t – penting! Bagi seorang lelaki..
    21. Do – nak orang buat macam tu, kita terlebih dahulu buat dulu
    22. Do – sabar je laa
    23. Do – isteri tulang belakang suami
    24. Don’t – hadiah tu sekadar penyemarak sahaja. Yang penting, kasih sayang
    25. Do – yup, sakit, sihat, susah, senang…
    26. Do – ye, kena bertolak ansur
    27. Do – dah tentu! Wajib!
    28. Do – gembirakan orang dulu, baru orang akan gembirakan kita
    29. Don’t – enjoy? Enjoy lah dengan family
    30. Do – sekali sekala boleh buat ni… tapi jangan selalu! 😛

    I LOVE MY HUBBY TOO! :p

    Reply
    1. Mommy Lyna Post author

      agaknya cikgu2 mmg suka memberi jawapan berbentuk subjektif. bagus2!

      Reply
  11. suealeen

    We’re going to achieve our 6th years of happiness coming this Rejab. Tak sangka begitu pantas masa berlalu.

    Masihku ingat seseorang yang rapat berpesan masa hari ditinggalkan di rumah mertua – Jangan kuat merajuk! Huhu! Seorang lagi pesan – be fair to both families. Honestly I do that successfully until today!

    Yang lebih lucky lagi.. akaklah menantu pertama hingga sekarang dan berada dalam comfort zone sebab tak de persaingan… hoho!

    Reply
    1. Mommy Lyna Post author

      hehe. saya takde orang pesan pun. huhu. takpe, saya ada self motivation 😛

      wah kita sama la kak, saya pun menantu pertama, nak tunggu next menantu pompuan agaknya lagi 8-10 tahun kot.

      Reply
  12. UmmuAhmads

    Mine is 7 years… Biasanya, the first few years adalah masa mengenali pasangan…

    We have a friend yang dah lebih 20 tahun kahwin…. with 10 kids. Dia kata, kita need at least about 10 years to really know each other. Don’t know how true is that….

    Reply
    1. Mommy Lyna Post author

      betul kak! sampai hari ni rasanya belum lg kenal secara mendalaaaaam sgt2. byk lg kene tilik isk3x.

      orang kata 5 tahun pertama, tahun2 penuh pancaroba, sesapa dapat lepasi 5 tahun tanpa masalah, insyaAllah berpanjanganlah.. betul ke?

      Reply
      1. sya

        lina dan ummuahmads,
        betul.. tapi, ramai juga yang rumahtangga nya runtuh selepas berbelas2 tahun…

        moga rumahtangga kita sentosa sampai bila2… insyaAllah…

        Reply
      2. UmmuAhmads

        Err…mungkin yg dimaksudkan bukan 5 tahun tanpa masalah, tapi 5 tahun dpt menangani & menghadapi masalah bersama. But I think benda ni subjective…. couple yg tahun ke 6 atau ke 7 baru dpt first baby…. tentu tak sama dgn couple yg 5 tahun anak setahun satu…kihkihkih… same goes with other things in marriage apart from having kids, macam pjj or duk dgn mertua ke…. Tapi in term of mengenali each other and menghadapi dugaan bersama…. 5 years maybe is a good length of time utk muhasabah bersama…

        Reply
  13. kakyong

    hmm, tadi rasa mcm dah bagi komen, awat tak kuor plak..

    lyna , nanti ku njawab di blog yer.. ku nak tepek di situ utk rujukan masa depan… heheh, mcm iyer jer…

    Reply
  14. alohamolly

    1. DO
    2. DO
    3. D0
    4. 50-50 My hubby is Chinese literate and I am more Eng literate..I find written conversation doesn’t work..it’s face2face conversation or ACTION speaks louder than words type that works for me
    5. DO
    6. 50-50t- I pay attention to myself..and I find guys don’t like girls do that
    7. 50-50 Give and take
    8. DO
    9. DO
    10. DO
    11. DO
    12. DON’T
    13. DON’T
    14. DON’T
    15. DON’T
    16. DON’T
    17. 50-50.
    18. DO
    19. DO
    20. DON’T
    21. DO
    22. DO
    23. DO
    24. DON’T
    25. DO
    26. DO
    27. DO
    28. DO
    29. DO
    30. 50-50 My hubby loves to eat out and try something new, so it’s his choice
    31. Stay healthy and look good for ownself and for hubby(no guys like to see a worn-out wife)
    32. Be independent and have own hobbies and girlfriends
    33. Learn about his hobby and be a fan as well

    I think there are more..but I am still experimenting and learning..3rd anniversary for me as well…way to go….thanks for this wonderful posting… Cheers!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge