height 58 cm. [last month 56 cm]
we went to the paed for your 2nd month injection. the hospital followed new schedule for injection. it was catdog rain since 1-2 days and you looked unwell. i dont know why you can’t tolerate with heavy rain, your voice become harsh in a sudden.you was in a windy mood the whole day. at dr mazidah’s clinic, you didn’t behave well. menangis merengek even before the jab. ms timbang pun merengek2. when the dr put you on tummy time, you didn’t even move your head. the dr said “eh, tak bole angkat kepala lagi ke? takpelah, baru 2 bulan” huhu. she should know my son is already merayap. time jab lagilah… apela.. tak macho sungguh.
Dr Mazidah tgh check Hafiy. big thigh, kata dia.
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tak kene cucuk lg dah melalak.
tempat kene jab…
wajah2 ceria anak Mommy lepas kena jab.
the dr didn’t provide us any ubat demam, Mami pun lupa nak tanya. at home, i told my dad that i want to tuam tempat inject so that you won’t demam. but my dad said no. he asked me to let you demam2 dulu. he said “inject tu mmg purpose ia nak suh demam, jgn wat apa2, nanti antibodi tu tak jalan pulak” your body warm, but i’m not sure because of the jab or because of the wheather. i just put koolfever on your forehead, nak lap badan dgn air Mommy takut sejuk sgt pulak hujan2.
alhamdulillah the light fever was only for a night. however the following day you looked very weak. letih ek anak Mommy…. shian dia…
shian anak Mommy… tak bermaya je.
today? heh, like nothing has happened.
Lip lap lip lap… anok Mami!
Mommy’s regret
[i promied myself that this will never happen again]
our life sailed very smooth, even if with a fussy you but Mommy still can manage . however, everything has changed when a makcik came to our place. she gave me a so-called advice and i was a total fool for accepting it just because she is a makcik, older, terrer & breastfeeding her children (not sure until when)! oh my God… i was shocked then, when she critize hat i’ve done, this and that. and told me ‘the right thing’ to do. as a new mom, i cringed. suddenly i changed my schedule and plans on you.
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it was so awkward on me, but didn’t want to be called ‘bodoh sombong’ or ‘degil xmo dgr ckp org tua yg expert’ i took it as ‘a familiarization phase’. but yesterday, i came to my limit. for the first time, i called Abiy to tell him that i am depress. enough of it.
now my regret, for letting someone else decided for me but i really couldn’t follow. how fool…. i should not give away my stand then. now when i get back to her, telling that i’m facing big problem with her advice, she was like “soo…?” or “i have nothing to do with this”. grrrr!!!!!
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it wasn’t simple on me. i took a week to think before i followed her advice (a critic actually, she critic everything i did, it was like i wanted to kill my son, like i didn’t love my son, etc.). that particular time, i felt guilty coz what i did that while ‘distressing my son’ (according to that soo terrer makcik). so i decided to follow. now????? even i am MORE DISTRESS than him! grrr!!!
that makcik may not read this blog, and i have no courage to say this to her:
“terima kasih atas kritikan makcik yg tak membina langsung tu. sekarang hidup saya makin sengsara sebab idea teruk makcik tu. kot ye pun nak tegur/marah saya, tengok la dulu, anak saya tak macam anak makcik. anak makcik tak fussy, tak baran, tak 10km, etc. skg ni, dah nak lepas tangan pulak. saya pun tak macam makcik. saya kerja, & saya ada byk benda nak dibuat. kalo makcik terer sangat, makcik jadila motivator ke, tulis buku ke, jadi pensyarah ke. geram saya ngan makcik ni tau. skg ni mak saya plak yg marahkan saya sbb anak saya jadi macam ni (samting yg saya tak hingin dia jadi sblum ni). geramnya geramnya! blah la makcik!”
lesson i’ve learned: IF WE ALREADY HAVE OUR STRONG STAND AND PLAN, JUST FOLLOW IT & DONT EVER LISTEN TO ANYONE WHO IS NOT BEING IN THE SAME SHOE WITH US, ESPECIALLY PAKAR TAK BERTAULIAH.
benci la! now i have to start over, all over again. bodohnye bodohnye!
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