watchtower cruel and unusual divx

dalam 2 hari ni Mami dalam blues yang panjang. i’m not OK!

yesterday i put the status “mampukah kubertahan“, sampai beberapa orang msg & sms “what happen?”

now that we’re in the middle of our pregnancy journey, still has half way to go. but now my milk is not even half from the history.

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1. pam sehari dapat setitik. setitik? i’m not kidding. just imagine you fill a bottle with milk, then your pour it into another bottle. sisa2 yang tertinggal dalam first bottle is what i managed to collect these days.
2. Hafiy menangis & meraung tengah2 malam lagi and when i hand him plain water, he drinks and back to sleep.

free bambi

yes, actually since my milk drop, i already noted it. an LC advised me that my milk will drop, and i can’t take any lactogenic herb, and even lactogenic food won’t give any effect.

and i started to supplement Hafiy with cow milk since 2 weeks ago, but not everyday. could be once or twice a week, with not more than 2oz of cow milk. but one day when he drank more than that, he got diarrhea. so i stopped.

now we planned to buy soy based milk (advised by LC), and as recommended by others, Isomil.

even if my milk drop and i said before that i’m not going to give him formula, i will provide him what a baby/toddler should get, MILK! i won’t substitute my breastmilk with other drink like juice, etc. milk is not only drink, it provides nutrient for that little body. breastmilk is the best, but fruit juice will never replace milk richness. so we opened our mind to accept that, our baby need milk for his growth. we can give him supplement from the drugstore, but to me, how good or natural the supplement is, if we able to give natural source for him, we will go for it first. he’s only a baby, he need not only the nutrient but also to enjoy the food.

Abiy said about wet nursing with other BF mothers. but it’s impossible to do:
1) we dont have any friends or relatives who are BFing & stay close to us.
2) if we send to other mother to stay away, we hav to pay for babysitting.
3) i still want to nurse Hafiy at night

so again i get help from LC, and nanti we will get soy based milk for Hafiy. just for supplement, while i’m still breastfeeding him.

chatting with teman seperjuangan, Mama Danish she said “susu tu rezeki anak tapi Tuhan dah bagi rezeki lain, so kita kene bertanggungjawab, bersyukur jugak dengan rezeki ni”. then i remembered Abiy’s advised “jangan terlalu fikirkan Hafiy, fikirkan juga Adik tu. kesian adik, dalam perut lagi dah kena abai”

uhuhuhu oh tidak.. oh tidak anak2ku.. Mami tidak pernah sekali2 mengabaikan sesiapa. i love you all!!!

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so, i take this as a break for me. maybe Dia nak Mami berehat, sit back & relax sekejap. nanti tahun depan kita tandem nurse lagi 🙂 insya-Allah.
download notting hill free and Mami sangat happy & puas hati dengan usaha dan pencapaian Mami setakat ni. syukur pada Allah atas nikmat-Nya yang tak terhingga (Dr Seri pun salute Mami still BF Hafiy tau!).

*even if i’ve been breastfeeding for 1 year now, but i’m still referring to LCs for breastfeeding matters.