OK, actually I don’t get the true definition and ‘feeling’ of children’s tantrum or mengamuk. It is either:
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My children do not throw tantrum, OR
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I don’t aware about their tantrum, LOL.
Kalau perangai suka menangis dikira tantrum, memang itu bakat semulajadi our 
Hafiy. Dia boleh menangis tanpa henti depan pintu bilik air until I finish my shower, and along the way from Miri City to Pujut 7 (about 15km) if I’m driving while he’s asking for milk. Tak masuk perkara-perkara lain.
Dulu-dulu it was bothering jugakla.. but now since he never stops, so dah tak kisah. Both of us know the situation that makes his request unfulfilled. So full stop. Everytime after taking shower I’ll spoke to him that Mommy is in the bathroom, no matter what I won’t let him be with me while I’m having shower. Unless when we have our bath together.
To me, the best way to deal with child’s tantrum is, DON’T GET INTO TANTRUM. Bila kita in tantrum (mood mengamuk & emo), everything pun jadi tak betul. Maybe secara tak sengaja kita tertampar, terpukul, etc anak tu. Pukul untuk mengajar is different than pukul masa kita marah. Pastu sendiri yang menyesal.
This is how I deal or even prevent their temper tantrum (if any).
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Know my children personality
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I believe that other that what I do to shape them, it is also depend on their natural selves.
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Hafiy & Fahry jenis yang suka melalak.
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Start a day with doa, vision, mission & plan.
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This is simple. When I knew my children’s personality, and knew when they’ll get cranky, I can prepare myself.
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Since I am doing work on my PC, so I can plan, I’ll only doing it when the kids are asleep. Kalau tak boleh jadi mental duk berperang ngan derang.
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So I can plan my day.. bila masa nak bersama anak-anak, bila masa nak buat kerja, bila masa nak rehat, etc.
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Make them realize that ‘We can’t have everything’.
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Entahlah, but we are not the type yang “I’ll buy anything for you baby”. Memanglah “I’ll do anything for you” tapi kalau ‘buy’ or ‘give’ tu, things yang betul-betul perlu je lah.
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But kids are kids. Kadang terlepas jugak. That’s why we have to remind them from time to time.
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Do not ‘blackmail’ them.
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Saying things like “Kalau nangis nanti Mami pukul” , “Kalau nangis Mami tak beli” won’t solve anything.
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It could worsen the situation by (1) They’ll afraid of the threat so they cry more loudly (2) They don’t care cos they know we won’t do it to them. Kalau pukul pun bukannya sakit. Except if we stick to it & betul-betul but macam tu.
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‘Bribe’ them with pleasurable thing, I mean pleasurable for me.
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“Budak pandai tak macam ni lah”, or “Budak hensem tak macam ni la” sometimes works. Kalau dia dah faham maksud pandai dan hensem tu mesti dia nak tunjukkan yang dia pandai dan hensem.
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“Kalau macam ni Mami tak boleh la nak singgah kedai/bookstore/taman”, especially kalo on the go, dia pun bosan duduk dalam keta je. So far Hafiy has no problem when we bring him to any shops. To him, semua benda adalah untuk dilihat kecuali barang-barang dalam list yang nak dibeli.
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Ignore him.
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A person performs better with audience, so don’t be his audience. Bila dia dah start mengamuk, semua orang buat derk. Last-last dia sendiri datang tersengih-sengih ‘nak kawan balik’.
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Free the space from hazard.
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Jangankan budak, orang tua pun kalau time datang mood mengamuk, semua benda melayang. So clearkan tempat kejadian dari sebarang benda bahaya. Kalau dia nak hempuk kepala sendiri ke lantai tu suka hati dia lah. Kepala dia yang sakit. (Hafiy penah buat ni cos tak puas hati dengan Mommy. Tapi slow je la, tau pulak dia takut sakit).
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Take his little brother away.
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I really don’t like if a kid hits other kids when having temper tantrum. Or in any kind of situation pun. For toddlers, sometimes they can’t get the message when they try to hit their siblings and we stop them, or scold them for that. They might think about ‘pilih kasih’ between him and others. So better separate them before the hitting episode begins.
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If there’s his baby brother around, he might get that ‘it’s no wrong to hit others when you’re angry’. To prevent this, cut off the threat.
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Don’t trigger the tantrum.
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Usually tantrum caused by fatigue, anger, not getting what he wants/ expects, etc. I try to make them fully-satisfied, time-occupied and lots of praise. This also reflects no. (3).
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I didn’t give them more than what I can give them tomorrow. If I know that tomorrow I might not have time to entertain them 24 hours, so today I start to train them to be entertained for 20 hours only.
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Enjoy the show.
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I like this one! Just enjoy their show. When both of them cries for them same thing – Mommy’s embrace exclusively, susah la kan nak fulfil. Either I embrace both of them, or pass anyone to Abiy or Bibik and smile to whatever they give to me. Usually melalak la…
They work just fine for me. Everything is nice and perfect. For me lah…
Siapa yang tak nak if ada anak-anak kecil yang ‘baik’ (read: tak ada tantrum) lagi mendengar kata. But throwing temper tantrum is normal and one of their process in growing up. It is a good indicator to tell us that they have feeling toward something and ada pendirian sendiri. But as parents we have to play our part la, so that the tantrum tu tak melarat. Melarat nanti bukan je menyusahkan kita, tapi menyusahkan orang jugak.
I choose to be positive and celebrating while controlling their tantrum because:
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I am their mother and they are my children. I am the one (together with Abiy) who responsible in ‘painting’ our children personality. So I have to control them, not letting them to control me.
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My children have nothing to do with my emotion. If I get angry, or stress, or anything, it’s not because they press any button on my head, but I did. I choose to be.. So better choose to be happy 😀
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My children only have me, while I have lots of things to think and do.
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I’m getting older, and someday I’ll depend on them to stay alive. So I have to sabar banyak-banyak menangani anak-anak. Life is like boomerang, what you give you get back. How if they can’t hold on me… when I start to get sick, Alzheimer and so on. Tak pasal-pasal mak kena campak rumah orang-orang tua kang (Naudzubillah. Berani buat macam tu, Mami sumpah semua jadi batu. HeHe). Tapi cemana pun, semua tu ujian.
This morning I brought Hafiy to Toys World, as a reward cos he stopped crying on the way back from paed clinic, where Fahry had review on his Pneumonia. He was so excited seeing his favourite objects : transport. He calls it “Baa”. Siap buat bunyi & gaya lagi. But alhamdulillah he just ‘tengok je’. We bring him to any kedai pun as ‘lawatan sambil tengok-tengok’. If he hold something pun Mommy cepat-cepat counter “This is not in our list, we’re not going to buy this”.
So kat Toys World, Hafiy cuma buat bising menyebut objek-objek yang dia suka. “Baa”=transport, “Ball”, “Hand”, “Baby”=doll…. As an upah dapatlah sebuah board book ‘Transport’.
Berbaloi kan jadi anak yang baik? Hehe.
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