When You Can't Get Enough Sleep…

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A year back, during his first few months, Hafiy was really ‘upseting’. He couldn’t be left alone, day and night, and sometimes cried the whole night. I tried several tips and tricks to make things better but it was just nothing. It was really tiring cos I never tohught becoming a mother was that hard. I thought a baby is like Spongebob, he would smile to you every second, every minute, every day. Duh! I couldn’t have enough rest, and even sleeping while swinging him on my cradle.

But after a year, reminiscing back making me thinking how naive I was. I was ‘exposed’ to the myth that ‘a good baby would sleep the whole night and wouldn’t give his mom headache’. Whatever the myth says, it’s actually not about the baby, but it’s all about the mother. A mother should not feel upset of her own baby….!!! (Cos the babies are not coming by themselves. They are ‘called’ by their moms and dads, either planned or unplanned)

Now I really can’t get enough sleep. At home, I have to sleep at least at 12.30am so that I won’t miss the pumping session just before bedtime. And I have to wake up early to pump again. During daytime, if Hafiy doesn’t sleep, I can’t sleep as well. If I stay at the SCN, I only manage to have 1-2 hour sleep. But the good thing is, I am happy doing this for my babies. I am so lucky for having that Hafiy, so I’d been trained for a 14 months before Fahry’s birth. Allah’s plan is great, right. If Fahry comes before Hafiy, I don’t know what would happen.

It’s normal for some first time mothers to feel depress when their healthy babies do not behave as what they expect. We want a baby who could sleep longer, less cry, not fussy, always happy… etc. I had a friend who even said “I feel so regret for having this baby. I think I’m not ready to be a mother…”. But as time flies, we see other moms with different kids, and our journey itself taught us to be more ‘motherly’.

I can’t and I don’t want to get a good night sleep. My head is always thinking about my kids, especially the one who is not by my side. Is he’s doing OK? Is his breathing OK? Is his oxygen level OK?

Even if his doctor said he’s OK, like what he told me this morning “He’s looking forward the right time to go home. 1.8kg, discharge” Ngee~~ But in my head still thinking ‘is the doctor telling the truth or just wanna make me feel happy???’. OMG, this could make me toss and turn!

free air force one

……….but, I still can have time to sleep. There are mothers who can’t even blink their eyes to take care of their sick kids.

If you think your baby steals your sleeping hours, think about other mothers who have to sacrifice their sleep, their rest,… for their kids. At least you have a healthy baby…

If you’re not yet a mother, having baby really kills your sleeping hours. …. so…. sleep NOW! (this sentence is specially written for Puan Amylynyx. Please go to sleep)

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12 responses to “When You Can't Get Enough Sleep…”

  1. Intan mama Ammar Avatar

    I agree about His perfect plan tu. I pun pernah diuji hebat, sebelum ni walaupun menerima dengan redha, tak nak nampak hikmahnya, tapi sekarang ni baru tau. But I always believe, dia uji kita mengikut kemampuan kita, kan Lyna? Stay strong! 🙂

    kadang2 masa tgh mengalami ujian tu tak nampak ape2 di sebaliknya. bila dah habis baru la datang time berfikir, & syukur dengan adanya ujian tu. tol x?

  2. suealeen Avatar

    being a mom memang tak pernah cukup tidonye though anak tu dah besar panjang sekali pun. yang baby merisaukan cara baby, kalo dah teenager merisaukan cara teenager.

    semua anak adalah anugerah tak kiralah yang healthy ke tak healthy ke. yang special memang akan ada special spot in mom’s heart. bukan nak membezakan anak but frankly, syafiah has a very special place in my heart and mind.

    be grateful and strong okie 😀

    betul tu kak. makin besar, makin risau kita dibuatnya. lagi2 kalo xde kat depan mata, kan.

    anak2 semuanya dpt tempat yg sama di hati ibu, tp ada yg perlukan special care, mmg up sikit la kan? hehe.

  3. mirah Avatar

    yea, being a mother ni, jgn pernah tanya soal cukup rehat ke tak. Baik anak sihat mahupun tidak. Selalu kawan2 tanya penat kan jga anak. Saya hanya senyum je dan menjawab ‘dah hakikat jadi ibu, tak pernah boleh nak bersungut soal penat ni. Sbb itu semua tanggugjawab, kalau tak nak buat pun, perasaan keibuan itu mana boleh duk senyap je..’

    mm..take care lyna, perjalanan masih panjang..

    betul tu. jadi mak, dah tak piki pasal pengorbanan ke, pahala ke, etc. yg penting kita jaga anak kita betul2, & perasaan keibuan buat kita rasa tak cukup2 dengan ape yg kita dah buat utk anak.

  4. salzahari Avatar
    salzahari

    me thought like u lah lyna at first 2 months being a mother..almost PND tau! ingatkan baby ni bg susu, bg tido, ok je..tak terfikir pulak dia still akan merengek dsb yg kdg kita taktau sbbnya (time ni selalu menangis, sbb habih idea nak buat pa/taktau kot dia sakit ke ape).

    i think it’s normal for mother not to have beauty sleep for the whole night..dulu i ada gak envy u selalu travel KL-Miri and ada masa2 dpt curi tido tp it’s not that simple as i tot kan even the baby not with us, our soul and our b***’ ‘called’ by them! :p

    i pun think the same when Allah amik arwah Ain drp i..byk hikmah actually and feel glad that Allah keeps her for us!

    itulah… rasanya lagi bagus tak tido daripada anak berada di kejauhan. anak jauh pun takleh tido jugak rindu kat dia!!!

  5. mamaYan Avatar
    mamaYan

    hahaha…nice one lah Lyna….betol tuh…before ader anak tido ajer manjang…siang tido…malam tido…tp skang tidak lagi…nak2 kalau anak suke ngempeng nih mcm my doter….tido mlm pon tak mcm tido….sakit pinggang sakit bahu sumer ader….aperpon….kite terima ajer semua ek….

    hahaha tol tu. duk ngempeng2, sedar2 dah pagi. orang pun cam dah new mama pegi keje muka pandaaa. hehehe.

  6. Mrs Azmar Avatar

    Dear Lyna,

    Nice advice for mum to be like me..mmg me and hubby pulun tidur skang tinggal dlm 3 bulan je lagi sblm due..insyaallah..

    Anyway, i doakan baby u fahry doing well and can come to his family..

    tido jgn tak tido! hehehe.
    amiin.. semoga Fahry cepat bole balik dengan sihat & selamatnya.

  7. JieyMien Avatar

    It’s so true Dear.. Pernah gak my friend mengeluh n ckp dia depress pasal bising dengar anak nangis.. Ms tuh I pun ckp, syukur la anak ko sehat n ade ngan ko ms berpantang.. Tp I pun ada gak termarah Ian kalo dia taknak tido ms awal2 dulu.. Tp lama2 dah tak kisah.. Taknak tido, kita main sama-sama.. 😛

    Kak Sualeen, btul tu.. I pun selalu ckp kat hubby macam tu. Ian is so special in my heart because he is indeed a very special baby.. Regardless ada anak 3/4 lepas ni.. 😛

    syukur kita diberi pengalaman begini, jadi takde nak stress2 anak nangis kan. malah tenanti2 anak nangis. rindu nk dengar dia nangis huhu. huhuhu.

  8. amlynyx Avatar

    hahahaha. i oways have a veriiiii quality sleep. malam ka siang ka tido mmg best! wpon x enuff sleep, tapi aku ttp nak jadi mOmmy!! (mun jange saiko aku hehehe)

    bak kata Ustat… (ustat gapa dah nama dia aku dop ingat dah huk janggut putih ngajar kelas aku 4/1 nger 5/1 tu –nok nyoho la duk kelas no 1 😛– hahahaha) “siyae tido male tido, pah lagu mano nok bulih anok?” kah kah kah kah.

  9. Nonie105 Avatar
    Nonie105

    Hmm..actually u’re rite Lynna. When u said that, I realized a baby just like spongebob. He would smile to you every second, every minute, every day. Spongebob pun nangis ape..!!

    Spongebob nangis tapi tangisan dia membuat saya ketawa!!! hehehe.

  10. suryatis Avatar

    its true wat u wrote there….instead of thinking how to hv more rest i.e. sleep, now im thinking hard to keep myself fit meaning tido min 4-3 hours pun cukup…coz baby, they don’t understand, they juz do wat they wanna do (contohnya ajak mama dia main at 2am hehehehe)

    hah, thats really true! jam 2-3 pagi bangun naik main. derang bukan tau tgk jam kn? 😛
    kalo tak peratikan nanti lain pulak jadinya….

  11. dayah Avatar
    dayah

    bila mai x cukup tdo nih,kkdg bebal jugak, nak lepaskan marah tk tentu pasal , tapi cepat2 cuba b’istighfar..mak2 kita jugak mcm ni dulu..tah2 kita anak yg paling dahsyat buat mak kita tak cukup tido.. hihi

    maybe la ape yg kita hadapi ni adelah ape yg mak kita hadapi dulu kan. hahahaha.

  12. Adam's Mum Avatar

    Akums..agak terharu juga reading your current day to day struggle especially deprived of sleep..I might be one of the lucky ones (Alhamdulilah!) cos my son Adam masa 1st two months aja bangun malam nangis, den third month, both hubs and I bangun (take turns) nyusukan Adam and he goes to sleep rite after, no crying involved!
    Anyway, memanglah jadi parents is a constant sacrifice but then we have to be greatful that we are INDEED lucky to have children of our own..imagine yang kawin brapa tahun pun tak ada rezeki anak? Lagi sakit melihat kebahagiaan keluarga orang lain dengan zuriat mereka..Kita patut rasa bersyukur dianugerahkan dengan anak tak kira macam mana keadaan mereka, itulah rezeki Allah Ta’ala..

    Wsalam…
    memang betul tu. orang lain yg tak ada anak, pun tak bole tido jugak pikikan macamana nak dapatkan anak. kita yg dikurniakan anak,… kalo rasa tak sanggup berkorban sikit tu, tak tau nak cakapla kan.

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