What Makes A Good Parent

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being a parent is more than become a mother, or father. parent is the first person a little child could see… someone who they ‘think’ they ‘should’ imitate in order to grow up.

i remember my ‘discussion’ with one of my friend, Aunty Jina about her 2 YO daughter’s tantrum. whenever she (the lil girl) gets upset, she’ll scream and throw everything over, even if in public. (even if both of us had no experience) we talked to find the best way to stop that tantrum. i told her that it could be a normal tantrum for a little kid but she said, she didn’t think so since her little siblings were never had as such. could it be the uniqueness? then she told me, she thought it could be because of her hot-tempered husband. the father, everytime in bad temper will shout to the family, smash things, etc. Aunty Jina then (she threw up the problem & she gave the solution herself) brought her daughter away everytime the father in bad mood, and she told & show the kid how to deal with emotion (luckily she was a cool lady) and gave her baby options such as “if you scream, you won’t get anything but if you behave Mama will give you present”. after few weeks (or months? forget already) she ‘reported’ that the tantrum was over. but it should be lots of hardworks huh?

i really believe in ‘kepimpinan melalui teladan’ and i’m truly against ‘parenting style’ that asking the kids to read books while the parents watching TV.[TV is the most attractive & powerful tool that preoccupies baby’s (like Hafiy) mind. he’ll stop all activities including BFing to ‘watch’ his favourite TV programmes (news, talkshows & Spongebob). -but i’m quite OK with that, at least he’s watching the news!- i’m not against TV cos it also provides lots of infos but parents should guide the kids on what program they should watch rather than let them to decide. oh it is so.. vast of ‘dirty amusement’ & even sometimes i hate watching the typical Malay movies/drama that symbolises the ‘short-minded’, ’empty-life’ of Malays… to me watching cartoon is better]

this is a story about my family.

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my mother loved to read. she didn’t read thick2 books but magazines and comic. i believe that it gave a big impact when i could read before i entered kindergarten (that time it was a miracle achievement cos at my kampung, Standard 1-3 pon not many could read or even knew A B C). my father said he just bought me a set of A B C blocks and from that i learned to spell, to read, to write, etc. and of course it because they also read (i’m not sure they read to me or not) & i’m sure it drove me learn how to read.(that time was no flash card, etc.)

i was not a genius child & reading at that early ages wasn’t because i used to be genius, but the culture nurtured by my parents had actually encourage me to read. my Pak Teh said, my ‘kegilaan’ toward reading was very extreme until i would stop to collect any papers on the floor/road to read ’em. but it gave side effect, it made me a very untalkative person cos too busy reading! even i seldomly talk to my aunties & uncles.

in my opinion, a good parent should not be someone who could give ‘everything’ to his/her babies; branded clothes, branded toys, branded things, expensive goods, hi-standard classes/school, lots of wealths, etc… but someone who could be the best role model to the kids.

i don’t think is it works if a father told his son to ‘stay away from cigarette’ while he’s puffing the smoke…

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1. we want our kids to be healthy, so we should have healthy lifestyle first. we should have enough rest, eat healthy foods, exercise, etc. & get regular medical check up.
2. we want to keep our kids safe, we first have to practise safety. wear seatbelt! practise HSE at home, clean up the mess before leaving the room, careful with knives, hot pane, etc.
brewster s millions movie download download basic instinct 2 movie 3. we want our kids to learn, we should keep our minds active. read books, try new things, do something new together with our kids.
download nick of time online 4. we want our kids to communicate. we first have to talk to others. practise effective listening and talking. have efficient discussion with out spouse and kids during family time & ask their opinion too!
5. we want our kids to do good deeds. we have to practise good manner. talk nicely to others, say thank you or sorry, pray, read Quran, respect others, etc.
6. we want our kids to enjoy life, so we shouldn’t invite stress to come to our mind. listen to music or interesting TV shows, read some comics, do something fun, practise creativity, play etc.

we should have regular discussion with the kids, even if he’s only a baby. when Hafiy does something like kacau2 barang Abiy, i still layan him but say to him “we don’t play with other’s belonging. this is Abiy’s and let’s put it at its place OK”. i don’t simply put the things back and scold “no! no!” or it will hinder his future exploration. and the pantang is when one of us talk to our kids, the other should not intefere, and don’t say something like “u jgn marah baby mcm tu, u pun sama je..”.oh i bet the kid will lose respect to the parent who tried to ‘tegur’ that no-no behavior.

so what makes us good parents? it’s not the materials or any methods, but it is how we cultivate our life.

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6 responses to “What Makes A Good Parent”

  1. mommysarah Avatar
    mommysarah

    yerps2!!
    stuju sgt2..
    i once met 1 father tgh nasihat anak dia jangan merokok but at the same time tgh err..petik api ek?

    i was like “what d ____”

    huh!!!

  2. Zuhaini Avatar
    Zuhaini

    oh ya.. saya sungguh terharu.. itu gambar Hafiy atas rumput suda ada!!!! (ke sy yg lmbt perasan..?)

  3. mama ryan Avatar
    mama ryan

    ayah ryan start baca at d age of 3.. krn diinfluence oleh cousin2 yg khusyuk mbaca mag ‘gila2’ (penah dgr??)

    so.. he was like, ‘ape ke heinye depa nie dok bgelak2 sakan time reading tu?’.

    so, atok ryan pun start la mengajar ayah ryan mbaca…

    n he say that he wanted to do d same to ryan…

    me? let ryan read mag ‘gila2’? errr.. kalau archie’s boleh kot… hu hu…

  4. MommyAdam Avatar
    MommyAdam

    along,
    i have no specific parenting skill..i know this is bad..ayyo..i try to treat adam the way i would like to be treated. i.e. with respect, give attention, give freedom, show limitation, make him happy etc. cuma pakai common sense. i hope God will give me guidance..

  5. mami Hafiy Avatar
    mami Hafiy

    MOMMYSARAH,
    that’s where ‘seperti ketam mengajar anak berjalan betul’ comes.

    ZUHAINI,
    sudah lama dia di situuuu
    huhuhuhu

    MAMA RYAN,
    hahaha. my mom pon ske baca gila-gila…~
    ms kecik dia xkasik baca komik tp gila2 bole hahaha.

    MOMMYADAM,
    the best parenting skill is from the parents’ instinct 🙂
    common sense is the best guidance for us & our children.
    tol x?

  6. ELTEC Avatar

    Thanks for enlightening such an important topic! Yes, the child’s safety, happiness, and health largely depend on us.

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